• Thanks Marmelade. It helps if the partner or next of kin has made a living will about their death and also put their funeral wishes down in writing. I got him to do that with third parties as witnesses. I also spent a lot of time on the phone with his father that week selecting other elements of the funeral he had not covered. My parents drove me out to the two local cemeteries to select a grave, and they loaned me the money. He chose which cemetery, I chose the grave. However, it was all up to me in the end, that’s why I recommend pre planning to everyone. It helps.


    • Thankyou, Lyn. It does go on, especially when there is a child to consider. I had to pay bills so I worked. I had a funeral to arrange. There was no one else at that time to do it all, so you step up, you have to. People do help on the funeral day though, eg I remember my father picking up my husband’s suit for him to be dressed in, from the dry cleaner. As hubby was a long time customer, they did it for free!


  1. Very moving. I hated all the things that needed doing when my husband died, and I even hated having the visitors and the constant phone calls of condolence and having a living room packed with flowers. All I wanted to do was curl up in a hole and stay there. But the visits and calls do bring condolence, the flowers their beauty, and the things to do provide something to focus on that isn’t, directly, your grief.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s right, Rina. Thankyou. A chaplain at the hospital told me the best time to check on the bereaved (or a family with a sick member) is 3 months on, that’s when all the helpers have well and truly moved on.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.