Wow. That is so powerful. I’m not sure I realized you’d had this experience and I’m sad and sorry for it. The line about supervising both death and life especially touched me.
Thanks Marmelade. It helps if the partner or next of kin has made a living will about their death and also put their funeral wishes down in writing. I got him to do that with third parties as witnesses. I also spent a lot of time on the phone with his father that week selecting other elements of the funeral he had not covered. My parents drove me out to the two local cemeteries to select a grave, and they loaned me the money. He chose which cemetery, I chose the grave. However, it was all up to me in the end, that’s why I recommend pre planning to everyone. It helps.
Thankyou, Lyn. It does go on, especially when there is a child to consider. I had to pay bills so I worked. I had a funeral to arrange. There was no one else at that time to do it all, so you step up, you have to. People do help on the funeral day though, eg I remember my father picking up my husband’s suit for him to be dressed in, from the dry cleaner. As hubby was a long time customer, they did it for free!
Very moving. I hated all the things that needed doing when my husband died, and I even hated having the visitors and the constant phone calls of condolence and having a living room packed with flowers. All I wanted to do was curl up in a hole and stay there. But the visits and calls do bring condolence, the flowers their beauty, and the things to do provide something to focus on that isn’t, directly, your grief.
That’s right, Rina. Thankyou. A chaplain at the hospital told me the best time to check on the bereaved (or a family with a sick member) is 3 months on, that’s when all the helpers have well and truly moved on.
anaussieintheworld2 
I think I just figured how to comment. This is a beautiful poem from a grieving heart.
Love, Pam
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Thankyou, Pam, I’m so happy you can comment here. Cath
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Wow. That is so powerful. I’m not sure I realized you’d had this experience and I’m sad and sorry for it. The line about supervising both death and life especially touched me.
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Thanks Marmelade. It helps if the partner or next of kin has made a living will about their death and also put their funeral wishes down in writing. I got him to do that with third parties as witnesses. I also spent a lot of time on the phone with his father that week selecting other elements of the funeral he had not covered. My parents drove me out to the two local cemeteries to select a grave, and they loaned me the money. He chose which cemetery, I chose the grave. However, it was all up to me in the end, that’s why I recommend pre planning to everyone. It helps.
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How hard it is for life to go on when such tragedy strikes! Your lovely poem tells that story so beautifully❤️
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Thankyou, Lyn. It does go on, especially when there is a child to consider. I had to pay bills so I worked. I had a funeral to arrange. There was no one else at that time to do it all, so you step up, you have to. People do help on the funeral day though, eg I remember my father picking up my husband’s suit for him to be dressed in, from the dry cleaner. As hubby was a long time customer, they did it for free!
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So true & sad.
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Unfortunately, Nancy, it’s one of the great truths of life, we can’t avoid death and taxes.
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Very moving. I hated all the things that needed doing when my husband died, and I even hated having the visitors and the constant phone calls of condolence and having a living room packed with flowers. All I wanted to do was curl up in a hole and stay there. But the visits and calls do bring condolence, the flowers their beauty, and the things to do provide something to focus on that isn’t, directly, your grief.
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That’s right, Rina. Thankyou. A chaplain at the hospital told me the best time to check on the bereaved (or a family with a sick member) is 3 months on, that’s when all the helpers have well and truly moved on.
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